A Philosophers Thought

As a philosopher who studies existentialism, I believe in existence, not essence. I believe in free will, over determinism. However, there are those times that the most life-saving coincidences have occurred in my life. And then, those situations that are not as much live saving, as they are puzzling.  

My mind can trail as far as my first year in third grade. Whenever it came time for my parents to discuss my progress with my beloved teacher, she would always commemorate me on how advanced my writing skills were, for being so young. To this day, I am an up and coming author, however, I am a writer.

Coincidences have always been circulated throughout my life. Little things that were mentioned in what would have been another time-filling conversation that moments later; become a universal and mental connection.

There was once a sick man in my life who inappropriately told me that my breasts would look amazing if they I pierced them. When I was nineteen, and years had passed from that evil man- the day I single-minded made my own choice to get them done. This same man had suggested to me, that I would thrive in Starbucks as my first workplace. I worked there for a total of almost four years.

What does this mean? How does this get explained? I could easily see a psychological analysis being conducted with results along the lines of: I was only settling or possibly overcoming a trauamtic childhood experience.

I am writing a final paper on the existential argument: existence vs. essence. Early ancient western Greek philosophers such as Plato and Aristotle both believed that for one to live a “good” life, they must live out the essence that they are given before they are born. For centuries, this essence was regularly known as God. That is until the mid-nineteenth century when the French father of Existentialism came to rise. It is genuinely shocking how radical Sartre’s philosophy that man is free, and that our essence comes as we live out our existence, during his time. I agree with Sartre. There is no posterior knowledge within us, in my opinion. We each are in utero for up to nine months, and from the second we are born, comes the interactions and interpretations that surround us to shape later how we make our choices. We are our own choices.

Those instances I had mentioned early from my past put a kink into my radical philosophical beliefs and thinking. In the situations where the bad man gave me those suggestions regarding invasive body mutilation and where to start my first job- I chose to pursue them both. I, Julia-Katherine woke up one morning and decided all by myself, without thought or recollection into my past, to alter my body. To be honest readers, I hadn’t remembered that the sick man with a three letter name had made that remark to me. I hadn’t recognized that until a killer swarm of late night PTSD had set in at least ten months or so later. Years before this had happened, but when he was no longer a part of my life, there was a hiring Starbucks location within walking distance from my house. At that time there was an eager seventeen-year-old who was looking for her first job, something close. Did the evil man determine my fate for both of my actions? Did my subconscious happen to remember both of these instances and I just went with it? These are the type of questions a philosopher asks. Or was it merely that, Starbucks was a convenient option for my first workplace, and I had wanted my breasts pierced for a while- as a girl who already has quite a few body piercings already.

As for the situation that I am convinced occurred due to fate, or whatever Science, Laws of Physics nor Philosophy could explain- I am thankful. I am thankful for one of those “signs” that Sartre highly dislikes in his works as being nothing but a reaction from an action. For in this case, it was not that. It was simply someone or something looking into me and my life at that very moment, and saving me.

From an Existentialist

The Rhetoric or Lying

Lying. Being a liar. Telling a false truth. In hopes of gaining either an emotional or material benefit. Manipulation loves laying with liars. But it happens. We are humans with no set ethical way of life except for our interpretations and perceptions. As well as the help of our environments throughout one’s life.

But I seem to be stuck in a time where we were once playing this ‘lying game.’ And there are a select few of individuals who come to my mind, that still spit out tall toxic tales. I can quickly forgive my younger and more vulnerable self for the time that I was involved and even lead this sort of foolish lifestyle.

It. Always. Comes. Back. Around.

One just has to be brave enough to identify what their ‘come around’ is. Whether that be in karma; having the same or similar wrong-doing done to you, that you have once done to another.

But, do not feel bad.

This is how we; some learn.

In my opinion, it is the beings that hold the boldest and beautiful souls, so powerful. Sturdy enough that bravery takes over ego. Confidence left confided in cocaine baggies and careless outbursts with the people around me at one blurred time in my life. One has the right to get frustrated with an individual who possesses this sort of persona. For in most cases that I have seen, they do not change. For the longest time, I even believed my life would with away as my septum had started. Being brave is such a blessing. Blessings come from religion, in religion, there are Lucifer and God. It’s a balance of using such strength for the ethical good of one’s self. Or the selfish side. Though, I do not believe in god. This is the closest thing to a religious connection I will ever make.

It is a person’s choice to take anything they have experienced in their lives. And choose to either destroy it, learn from it and hopefully do better. One of the many tedious and insipid ‘facts of life.’ Don’t we all love those?

Many blame themselves if they are in case an of “taking someone back.” And yes, that someone is toxic for them. That awareness is somewhere, suppressed logic is a symptom of shitty relationships of any kind. Or damaged by trauma; those insipid facts go again.

There truly are so many ways to describe how to be an ethical person, but unless one can live a content life in following a rule sheet in how to be somebody, they should start believing in themselves that they are a good person. That’s how anything positive starts to sprout, in my opinion. Is just believing. It is the kryptonite to lying and causes for the opportunity of hope to shine in. The days where some I see still get distracted with dust and ashes. But some have claimed, and I once too- joint papers are sometimes the only things that seem to hold our joints together. For sometimes this crazy world makes us feel as though we are all flying away to a place of pure light, authentic life. Maturity is what the young people around me SAY they want most. But for some, there are complicated corridors created by young whores who tried to stand in the way of magnificent accomplishment. Even ‘adults’ think they have things stupidly under control.

Recognize the natural bodily high reward system of yesterdays or that one proud day’s accomplishments. But remember to manifest it to days such where we get a little distracted. For some.

Recognize the natural and honest intoxication that comes with the connection. Something as simple as the first warm sip of a hot beverage on the most mesmerizing fall day. When the air outside lingers the aroma of pine, freshly poured rain, and cleansed soil. I have read in some places the rain cleanses the soul as well. Whether that comes from a book, beaker, Beethoven- make sure you find it in yourself. Notice how I didn’t list finding it in another person. For there was a time that the pockets of my jeans from when I was nineteen, constantly remind me of when I ran into the arms of my “savior.”

Find your muse, reader.

Find your natural flow.

For how long do these drugs really last

Do we really want to live so fast?

Paper Chasers

One day, she thought: “you’ll be able to solve the theory.”

Can one live a life without slaving away at one piece of paper or stacks of another?

Let’s compare.

Manager or CEO


Or be the one they call in for “the big guns”

Ending up in customer service calculating a total;

Or that button down boy in the lab breaking his back over some goddamn beakers.

Where does it stop?

If ones does not evolve with the ethics of our unethical society;

They are deemed unworthy and more often than not, damned to the streets.


So I, we, turn to



We’re all just paper chasers at the end of the day.